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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220344">Where I Find My Strength</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl'>captainamergirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>General Hospital</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gabriel lived. No he thrived, I miss my baby girl Sabrina!, Patrina, PatrinaFam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:27:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220344</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Little Gabriel Santiago-Drake doesn't die in this story. He lives. No, he <i>thrives</i>.</p>
<p>A Patrina tale that takes place over the span of 18 years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Drake/Sabrina Santiago</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where I Find My Strength</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Age 0</span>
  </strong>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina watched Britt standing beside the incubator. Britt’s eyes sought Sabrina’s and she offered her a little smile of encouragement. “Gabriel’s doing well, better than I dared hope actually.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Thank god,” Patrick said and he reached for Sabrina, almost as if it were a reflex, tugging her against his side. “But what exactly does this mean, Britt? He’s still so small. He’s still hooked up to every machine imaginable. His lungs-“</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “His lungs are beginning to mature and even work on their own. If he keeps making this kind of amazing progress, he could conceivably be out of this incubator in a few weeks' time.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina found her fingers curling into Patrick’s hand. “Britt, are you serious?” She asked. Her eyes burned with tears. Her heart thrummed in her chest.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Britt nodded. “Yes, I’m serious. We’re all fighting for him here, all of us.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “I know,” Sabrina murmured. She couldn’t believe that Britt had somehow become her ally. They had despised each other for such a long time but Britt was like a whole different person now, especially since her own baby boy was born. Sabrina had this crazy image of their boys playing together at the park, chasing bubbles in their Pampers, possibly becoming the best of buddies. The thought made her smile for a moment. But then the thought that something might go wrong… She was still so afraid to hope.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Thank you, Britt,” Patrick said. He squeezed Sabrina’s hand and then approached the incubator. “Gabriel has to be okay. He has to.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Just have faith,” Britt said. “I need to make rounds. You two stay with your son for a bit. I’ll be back here soon to check on him.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina touched Britt’s shoulder as she passed. “Thank you, Britt.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Britt nodded. “You’re welcome, Sabrina.” Then she was gone and it was just the three of them – a worried mother and father, and a sweet little boy fighting so hard for his life.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Do you think Britt’s right?” Sabrina asked as she touched her glove-tipped fingers to the glass, imagining that she could actually touch her son.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “I think she is,” Patrick said, leaning in beside her and looking at their boy. “I have to believe it. The alternative…”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “I know, it’s terrifying.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Exactly.” Patrick looked over at her. “You look tired. Have you gotten any sleep?”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Not much,” Sabrina admitted. “I just can’t leave him.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “You’ll be no good to him if you collapse from fatigue.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “I know but-“</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Hey no buts, okay? See that chair over there?” He pointed to the black leather recliner in the room. “Climb into it and close your eyes for awhile. I’ll be here until you wake up. I won’t let our son out of my sight. I promise.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Patrick-“</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “I insist, okay, Sabrina. If – I mean, </span>
  <em>when</em>
  <span> – our son gets out of here he’s going to need you and you can’t be there completely for him if you’re sapped of energy. So do me a favor and get some sleep.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina looked up at Patrick and nodded. “Okay… Just if anything –“</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Thanks, Patrick.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> He just nodded and watched her move over to the recliner. She stretched out in it, hitting the foot pedal so that she was prostrate. She felt silly for a moment under Patrick’s watchful gaze and then she shook it off.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Good night, Patrick.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Good night, Sabrina.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She closed her eyes and soon slipped into a gentle slumber. At some point during the night, she felt a warm presence at her side, the whisper of calloused fingers across her skin, brushing an errant lock of hair aside, the securing of a blanket around her tiny frame. She knew somehow in her subconscious mind that it was Patrick and for the first time since this nightmare had begun, she felt at peace.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> XoXoXo</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Two weeks had passed. In that time, Sabrina rarely left the nursery and Patrick only did so to spend time with Emma. Both of his children needed him after all.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina sat at Gabriel’s side, watching him through the clear walls of the incubator. She had yet to hold him and sometimes she wondered - despite the constant reassurances from Britt and Patrick, and everyone else - if she ever would.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Gabriel’s eyes were open and Sabrina could see that they were just like Patrick’s - that beautiful shade of brown that was neither coffee nor chocolate in color, but something in between -- indescribable really.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Hey, Gabriel,” she whispered. “How are you feeling today? Better, I hope. I know you’ve had a rough couple of weeks but just keep hanging on, okay, my sweet son. I love you so much and I can’t - I don’t want to - imagine a world you’re not a part of.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “He’s not going anywhere,” a familiar, husky voice said from the doorway. She looked up to see Patrick standing there, a little smile on his face as he looked upon them both with fondness etching his expression. He was dressed in the standard yellow hospital paper coat and latex gloves. It was a reminder that Gabriel was still not well. “You’ll see,” Patrick said. "He’s not only going to live… He’s going to </span>
  <em>thrive,</em>
  <span> Sabrina.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “I want to believe that so badly but -”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Don’t give up hope, okay? You can’t. He’s counting on you to keep rooting for him.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina nodded. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.” She watched Patrick under her eyelashes as he slowly moved to stand at her side. They watched Gabriel in companionable silence for a long time, just memorized the rise and fall of his little chest as he fought for every breath that he took.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> The door opened and Britt walked inside. She offered them both a little encouraging smile. “He’s alright,” she immediately said, her eyes coming to rest on Sabrina. “He’s more than alright.” She went to examine the little boy and Sabrina held her breath throughout the whole thing. Patrick reminded her that she needed to </span>
  <em>“breathe, just breathe”,</em>
  <span> but she couldn’t quite manage it - not until Britt said the words she had so longed to hear, “Who would like to hold him first?”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina’s eyes widened. “Britt, do you mean-”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Yes, I think - actually, I </span>
  <em>know</em>
  <span> - he’s ready for that. It can only help him at this point,” Britt said. “So who wants the honors?”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Patrick looked at Sabrina. “You first. You worked so hard to bring him into the world. This is your moment.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “T-thanks,” Sabrina murmured. She instinctively settled into the rocking chair close by and watched as Britt disentangled several wires and apparatuses before gently lifting Gabriel from the incubator. Sabrina found she couldn’t breathe again. Her throat was closing up fast and tears were already dripping from her eyes. It wasn’t until Britt placed her son into her arms that Sabrina could exhale again.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “He’s so beautiful,” Sabrina whispered, reaching out to stroke the baby’s soft, smooth cheek with her gloved hand. She longed to touch his skin with bare fingers but she would gladly accept this moment. </span>
  <em>It was everything.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Gabriel stared up at her with bright, inquisitive eyes. Sabrina felt a little chuckle burble up on her lips, unbidden. “He’s just so … I can’t imagine anything more perfect in the entire world.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Me either,” Patrick agreed. She felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder, the light pressure of his fingers squeezing her there. She smiled, feeling at peace for the first time since this nightmare had begun.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> XoxoXox</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Another three weeks had passed. Sabrina and Patrick got to hold their son often. In fact, he was doing so well that sometimes Britt allowed him to sleep in a little isolette rather than that big, impersonal incubator. Sabrina and Patrick would watch him for hours as he slumbered, noting the strides that he was making. The first day that he was able to suck on his own thumb, Sabrina cried with sheer relief. Patrick tugged her to his side and held her tightly, tears in his own eyes.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Britt walked into the room that morning and looked at the little family. “How would you two like to take Gabriel home?”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Wh-what?” Sabrina said. “You aren’t… You’re serious? </span>
  <em>Really?”</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Britt nodded. </span>
  <em>“Really.</em>
  <span> If Gabriel keeps doing this well, I can conceivably release him by the end of the week.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Ohmigod!” Sabrina shrieked. She was ecstatic. She looked at Patrick and knew that he felt the same way. It felt natural to fling herself into his arms and cry with happiness so she did. He held her gently to him and whispered soothing words into her soft hair.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “This is the best news ever,” Patrick said, still holding onto Sabrina. “Thank you, Britt, for all you have done. It means the world to us.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Britt nodded. “I was glad to do it. I will miss seeing this sweet little guy every day but I am glad he’ll be at home with his parents where he belongs.” She examined the baby, smiled and cooed dutifully at him, and then walked out.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina looked up at Patrick. “We’re taking him home. </span>
  <em>Finally.”</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “I know. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Beyond amazing,” Sabrina said, dashing at her dewy eyes. “I just … I haven’t been able to really get the nursery together at my place. I don’t know what he’ll even sleep in when he comes home.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Don’t worry. It will all work out,” Patrick said with a little, secretive smile. “I promise.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> XoXoXo</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> The weekend came and Sabrina and Patrick knew that it was time. Gabriel really was coming home to them. Sabrina would take him for the first few days, and then Patrick would take over and give her time for a little rest.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Emma couldn’t stop marvelling over her little brother as she watched Patrick settle him into the car seat. “He’s so cute!” She enthused. “So, so cute. I love him already, you guys!”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina nodded. “Me too, Emma, me too.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Patrick drove Sabrina and the kids to her apartment. He insisted on carrying the diaper bag and baby as Sabrina and Emma walked ahead, holding hands. Sabrina slid the key into the lock and her eyes went wide when she saw who was waiting inside. Felix and Brad, Britt and Nikolas -- all bearing gifts galore.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Ohmigod,” Sabrina said. Her eyes soon fell on the beautiful, oak-finished crib in the corner of the room. “That is … Thank you, guys.” Fresh tears squeezed from her eyes. All she felt she did anymore was cry but these were the happiest tears she’d ever shed.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “That wasn’t our doing,” Felix said. “That would be Dr. Drake’s miracle work.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Sabrina swung around to look at Patrick. “Oh my ... When did you have time to put that together?” She asked in wide-eyed amazement.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “It took a few weeks,” Patrick admitted. “Squirreling away a few minutes here and there … Do you like it?”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Yes, I love it,” Sabrina said. She moved to him and hugged him. He dropped a soft, furtive kiss to her forehead. “Thank you,” she murmured.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “You’re welcome, Sabrina... Only the best for our son.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> “Only the best,” Sabrina murmured, knowing Gabriel really did have the best dad in the whole world - the best sister, the best guardian angels watching over him...</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She just smiled now. Smiled so brightly that the noonday sun paled in comparison....</span>
</p>
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